Trying to sleep while drunk
YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL IF:
- you have a body
- that’s it
- you’re beautiful
- you win
You have potentially offended hundreds if not thousands of ghosts.
i don’t normally post porn sorry
I do, and this is much better.
I finished this in my head with “…can prevent forest fires”
so long space cowboy
I’m 95% sure that squirrel is dead
anyone else see satan cutting the string through a glass door
The only acceptable birthday cake
so when you blow out that candle you’ll be killing that charmander happy birthday u sick fuk
-people who clap when the plane lands
Julie Andrews on how she got the part in Mary Poppins.
when walt fucking disney waits for you then you are the absolute queen of everything
When I lose my mom at Walmart
When someone reads your best friend and you try not to laugh
when ur running down the stairs with no bra on